Always There
by lsmcfan
Summary: Ziva muses on the past and someone who helped prepare her for the future  Written for NFA's My Impact On Your Life Challenge


She watched the snowflakes as they fell, brushing against the window before swirling off into the gloom. DC's first storm of the new year had arrived, and the members of the MCRT struggled to stay awake during a dismal afternoon of cold cases and coffee. (Not good coffee either, the team's favorite kiosk having burned to the ground due to a freak frother malfunction earlier in the week) Needless to say Gibbs was not at his most pleasant, although he was distracted enough with employee reviews and past due paperwork to stop his grumbling about the "pathetic swill" he was forced to drink. Tony had called in this morning claiming to have broken a crown (conveniently, she thought) and was off for the day for emergency dental work. That left her and McGee to slog through piles of cold case "busy work" and stay out of their disgruntled boss's line of sight.

It had only been a few weeks since Ziva had found out the truth about her boyfriend's involvement in the murder of a naval officer after going rogue while on a CIA mission. She still felt an ache in her chest when she thought of Ray, and how he had looked at her with such love while proposing to her on the busy street corner. If only things had been different…

The lack of an active case gave her too much time to dwell on Ray, and the other men in her life who had let her down. Glancing quickly over at McGee's desk she noticed her partner was still focused on his monitor and seemed to be deeply involved in whatever case he was working on. Giving up all pretense of working she turned her eyes back to the storm outside.

First had been her father, a man who saw her only as a weapon to be used in the cause of keeping a free Israel. Trained as a warrior and cold-blooded assassin she had given him her very soul, only to be cast off when the operation she had been sent on became an embarrassment to him. Then there was Ari, her half brother whom she had been assigned to oversee and ordered to kill when he became a danger instead of an asset and to get closer to a certain Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Gibbs-a man who should have never trusted her but did. A man who she thought she could trust too, but when asked to choose he had left her standing on the tarmac in Tel Aviv. Then there was Michael, the man who used her on her father's orders but whom at one time she thought she could love forever until he was killed- by Tony. Ah Tony; there had been sparks there but for a time she hated him with all the passion she had. They were better as partners and friends. She even briefly thought of Roy, who was perhaps the first man that wasn't her enemy or target. Only he had betrayed her too in a way, by dying before she had a chance to fully explore her feelings for him. Yes, perhaps she would be better off if she too became…what was it McGee had said? A mink? No, a monk…

Timothy McGee…when she had done the dossiers on the MCRT before coming to America she had dismissed him as the weakest member; no one to take seriously. Eventually though she revised her opinion and came to realize there was steel beneath the man's quiet exterior. He was the first one to welcome her to NCIS despite her association with the murderer of Agent Todd. He was the one who took the time to help her find a place to live and navigate her way through the sprawling DC-Metro area. It was the first time that she had been able to open herself up to someone as a friend and by doing so enabled her to let others into her life. She briefly thought her original evaluation of him was correct after the shooting of the off duty policeman, but she came to understand that regretting the death of another human being was not a weakness, but a strength. When McGee's sister became a suspect in the murder of a young Petty Officer she was struck by the faith he had in his sister's innocence and his willingness to give up his career to protect her. It had been so long since she had lost Tali that she had forgotten how much family members could care for and believe in each other. There had been the little things too-how he brought wine AND dessert to her dinner party, how he gently corrected her mixed idioms and how he had her back when Tony got a little too obnoxious and personal. He had traveled to Somalia with Tony and Gibbs to avenge her "death", even if it was the last thing she would have expected of a "gentleman". Tim had encouraged her to become a citizen, helping her study (and find a new apartment, again) He stood with her when she took her oath, and celebrated with her when she became an NCIS agent. The only negative thing she could think of was him keeping those pictures Tony had taken of her in California even though it was flattering in a way.

"Uh, Ziva?" She was startled by the familiar voice-and when had her gaze shifted from the window to her partner? He was looking at her with one quizzical eyebrow raised. "Are you OK?"

"Fine McGee, just thinking about…"

"How about both of you thinking about finding new jobs?" growled Gibbs. As they quickly returned their attention to the files he snarled "And one of you…get me some REAL coffee!"


End file.
